When I was a little girl I was taught to always ask first and then do second. When my parents said yes, that meant I could go ride my bike. When my parents said no, that meant I didn’t get dessert. The yes’ always felt the best but I seemed to have met with more no’s. This pattern continued into elementary school. When the teacher said yes, I could go to the bathroom. When they said no it wasn’t snack time yet, I couldn’t eat. The idea of asking before doing is to keep us safe as children but what happens is we all continue this habitual pattern that was given to us into adulthood without even consciously knowing we are still doing it, yep you heard me. We are all grown up’s asking for permission to just be ourSelves.

I remember the days that I would lie awake at night wishing I was where I am today. I remember asking whoever is up there in the big bright sky to help me feel better. I wanted to be excited to wake up in the morning. I yearned for joy and laughter daily. I dreamed of confidence to start my own business. One moment sticks out the most, I was kneeling on my floor, I hadn’t showered in a couple of days, I had been eating like crap and I felt even worse. I began to cry. I sat there tears flooding down my face asking if this is it. I spoke out loud claiming I was ready. What I was ready for, who knows but I was definitely ready for something.

Do you ever wonder what you should be doing next? Do you ever wonder is this it? Do you have those moments where you question yourSelf to the point of confusion? Do you spend a lot of time up in your head trying to figure things out? Ya, me too. My mind moves fast I move even faster. In a world where we absorb so much information each day how the heck are we suppose to know left from right? I used to be the queen of bypassing my life because I just wanted to keep moving and figure out my purpose, I wanted to get to the endpoint already. The moment we realize that journey is actually the destination is when we give ourSelves the opportunity to truly meet ourSelf.

Okay okay, I know that self-care is this term that is being thrown around left, right, and centre but have you ever slowed down and really thought about what it means? For a while I watched women throw up bath pictures on social media and think that was self-care. I thought that moving my body every day was self-care. I have thought that sleeping all day is self-care. Being in the health and wellness industry I flirt with different ways of self-care all of the time but I got really frustrated being on social media and women bringing others down for how they were taking care of themSelves. Ladies, all of the above is Self-care and guess what, we are only able to take care of ourSelves and know what we need, not others

I remember clearly my first ever boy-girl dance. I was in grade seven and I was so excited, mainly because I didn’t have to go to class. We got to the gym where the lights had been dimmed, music was blaring and all that was missing was actual dancing. I look over and my best friend is already giggling with a boy from our class. I noticed she was wearing shorts, I was in jeans. That must be it. I absolutely needed to be in shorts. I was so self-conscious about not ‘being sexy’ that I actually asked my friend to switch pants. She looked at me funny and I played it off as a joke. I was 12 years old already showing signs of being strongly conditioned by celebrity culture.

I remember the first time I heard the term Human Design. I was listening to a podcast while cruising to Montreal and I remember being really confused about all the energy types and terms and wondering what the heck they were talking about. For some reason, that day stuck with me. A few years later I really began to dive into my inner world. I slowly became more intuned with Reiki, astrology and you guessed it, HUMAN DESIGN.

Do you like feedback? My original answer, a big HELL NO! I used to squirm in my seat when I knew I was going to be given feedback. Because I don’t lie to you, Imma share that I also used to just not show up to things because I was afraid I wouldn’t be good enough and I didn’t want to hear where I could improve . . . now that doesn’t make any sense, does it?

I’ve been moving my body for quite some time now. I would even argue that I came out of my mom running. I’ve always liked to move my body in tons of ways but somewhere along the line, I forgot that this was integral to my health.

Do you consider yourSelf a princess or a queen? My first instinct to this question was queen too. These are two energetic archetypes that have very distinct differences. It takes conscious choices to shift from a princess to a queen and it takes the first choice to do you first. It requires pulling up your big girl pants, walking out the door and sometimes making those tough adult decisions that queens have to make.

Do you consider yourSelf a princess or a queen? My first instinct to this question was queen too. These are two energetic archetypes that have very distinct differences. It takes conscious choices to shift from a princess to a queen and it takes the first choice to do you first. It requires pulling up your big girl pants, walking out the door and sometimes making those tough adult decisions that queens have to make.

I remember the days when I thought that changing my mind was a sin; like seriously I carried so much weight around disappointing ‘them’. I carried SO much shame around making a new decision because I was taught I had to finish what I started. But what is the fun in that, am I right? Years later I have learned a couple of things . . . one, if we never changed our mind we would be stuck, like really stuck and not able to give ourSelf the opportunity to evolve into a more expansive, grander version of ourSelves.

Do you feel most accomplished when you check things off your checklist? Are your really good days when your to-do list gets so small that it’s almost done? Have you ever noticed that there is always more to do? ME TOO! For most of my years on earth so far, I’ve operated and validated mySelf strictly through my to-do lists. I have felt less than when having nothing ‘to do’.