Are you a princess or a queen?
SOLO
Do you consider yourSelf a princess or a queen? My first instinct to this question was queen too. These are two energetic archetypes that have very distinct differences. It takes conscious choices to shift from a princess to a queen and it takes the first choice to do you first. It requires pulling up your big girl pants, walking out the door and sometimes making those tough adult decisions that queens have to make. When I realized I was operating like a princess for most of my life EVEN IN MY LATE 20’s, I knew there was a time to make a change. Before we dive in you can absolutely be more than one thing but after this I want YOU to decide which you want to be and why so that you can own whoever and whatever you decide to be.
When you think of a princess what do you think of? I think, little girl, spoiled, running around with no one holding her accountable to her actions or her feelings. I think of the princess’ I see on TV who get whatever they want by asking their parents and no value for what they have. When I used to think about this archetype I got excited because why wouldn’t I want to run around and get everything I want given to me. Well, here’s why and what a princess archetype actually looks like . . .
A princess asks before doing
A princess waits to be told
A princess always needs to be a ‘good girl’
A princess asks to be saved … hopes to be saved
A princess is scared to make her own money
A princess lives in fear of being seen for her true wild
When you hear that list, how do you feel about the princess archetype? I had to get real honest with mySelf when unlearning how to be a princess to learn to be a queen. I learned I was waiting for someone to save me, from what you ask... mySelf. I waited for men to make me happy, I waited for jobs to come my way, I just waited for someone else to figure ‘it’ out for me. This is dangerous because you are putting your eternal happiness on someone else because growing up a little girl, you were told someone else or something else would provide that for you. See how that can be a slippery slope?
Now think about a queen. What does the word queen bring up for you? How do you feel a queen would differ from a princess? To be honest, when I used to think queen I thought, bossy bitch. I thought queens had to tell people what to do so they are mean and annoying. THIS is problem number one. As women we have been conditioned to think that being bold, loud and proud are less than desirable traits for us. I disagree. So, here’s what a queen archetype actually looks like and why the heck it is SO important for us to lean into it . . .
A queen doesn’t need to ask before doing | she does what she wants, when it’s right to her
AND a queen is not afraid to ask for help
A queen breaks the “rules” and societal boxes because she doesn’t need to be a ‘good girl’
A queen saves herSelf and knows she has support along the way
A queen knows her worth and stands in her power | she is not afraid to ask for more or figure out away for more
A queen let’s her wild woman run free
After hearing, how are you feeling? Leaning into the queen archetype allows you much unlimited ways to grow. The second way of being allows you to expand into and take things on that maybe earlier on in your life you would not have. Leaning into the queen that I know you are really does create a golden life you are obsessed with BUT this needs to be a life you are living for you, by your own rules.
We start creating our own rules by asking ourSelves if what we are doing is for ourSelves or someone else. Are you a doctor because your family comes from a long line of doctors or is it something you really desire. You begin to break down the princess structures others gave you to rebuild it in exactly the way you want. I am telling you, anything is possible when you decide to be a queen but that is the first decision that needs to be made. How will you start to choose like queen right now? Maybe that is switching over to the new facial product you’ve been meaning to; it could look like buying the dam lobster and making it for dinner; maybe you say no to a family event. What can you stop asking for permission for right here, right now? Maybe that’s asking your partner the exact grocery list; maybe it’s asking to go pee at work; maybe it’s taking your vacation days without guilt. The first step is to notice when you are leaning into your princess archetype and then CHOOSE to lean into your queen instead. The first few times will be weird but I promise, there becomes no other way.
Princess to queen is a must shift in our society. I know I don’t want my little girl (hypothetical of course) to feel she needs to ask for permission to be her. I want her to go right ahead and be the bossy, bold, powerful queen she is and get whatever she wants because she knows she can. We start to shift together. As a collective community, we stop bringing each other down based on qualities that we don’t have or that our mothers or the mothers before them didn’t have. We begin to notice the qualities that we admire in others and decide to invite them into our lives instead. With all the energy women spend on negatively chatting about each other we could be saving the world. Now what kind of world do you want your daughters to live in? Go out and do that!
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