Every year I get really excited for the new year to come. You know, that feeling where it feels like a blank slate is right in front of you. But then every year I write down a bunch of things I am going to ‘do’ and ‘accomplish the upcoming year and I would drop the ball so to say, all year long. After repeating this pattern year after year, I got tired. I wondered why things weren’t getting done and I got rather frustrated about it. Last year I had had enough and decided to start my year a little bit differently.

2021 is around the corner and I bet after the year we had, you’re already all over creating a new year’s resolution list. Here’s how my list goes, I get excited in December for the new year to come. I sit down and look at my past year and ask mySelf what I want to bring into the new year. The list usually consists of eating healthier, exercising more, and making more money. I write them down on a piece of paper, go to a new year’s party, and January 1st hits and I’m hungover.

Anyone else run around like a chicken with their head cut off around the holiday season? These days, Christmas decorations come out before November, we’re setting up our trees two months before the actual day and we feel the pressure to shop until we drop to show people we love them. Two years ago, enough was enough.

When I was a little girl I was taught to always ask first and then do second. When my parents said yes, that meant I could go ride my bike. When my parents said no, that meant I didn’t get dessert. The yes’ always felt the best but I seemed to have met with more no’s. This pattern continued into elementary school. When the teacher said yes, I could go to the bathroom. When they said no it wasn’t snack time yet, I couldn’t eat. The idea of asking before doing is to keep us safe as children but what happens is we all continue this habitual pattern that was given to us into adulthood without even consciously knowing we are still doing it, yep you heard me. We are all grown up’s asking for permission to just be ourSelves.

I remember the days that I would lie awake at night wishing I was where I am today. I remember asking whoever is up there in the big bright sky to help me feel better. I wanted to be excited to wake up in the morning. I yearned for joy and laughter daily. I dreamed of confidence to start my own business. One moment sticks out the most, I was kneeling on my floor, I hadn’t showered in a couple of days, I had been eating like crap and I felt even worse. I began to cry. I sat there tears flooding down my face asking if this is it. I spoke out loud claiming I was ready. What I was ready for, who knows but I was definitely ready for something.

Do you ever wonder what you should be doing next? Do you ever wonder is this it? Do you have those moments where you question yourSelf to the point of confusion? Do you spend a lot of time up in your head trying to figure things out? Ya, me too. My mind moves fast I move even faster. In a world where we absorb so much information each day how the heck are we suppose to know left from right? I used to be the queen of bypassing my life because I just wanted to keep moving and figure out my purpose, I wanted to get to the endpoint already. The moment we realize that journey is actually the destination is when we give ourSelves the opportunity to truly meet ourSelf.

I remember clearly my first ever boy-girl dance. I was in grade seven and I was so excited, mainly because I didn’t have to go to class. We got to the gym where the lights had been dimmed, music was blaring and all that was missing was actual dancing. I look over and my best friend is already giggling with a boy from our class. I noticed she was wearing shorts, I was in jeans. That must be it. I absolutely needed to be in shorts. I was so self-conscious about not ‘being sexy’ that I actually asked my friend to switch pants. She looked at me funny and I played it off as a joke. I was 12 years old already showing signs of being strongly conditioned by celebrity culture.

Do you consider yourSelf a princess or a queen? My first instinct to this question was queen too. These are two energetic archetypes that have very distinct differences. It takes conscious choices to shift from a princess to a queen and it takes the first choice to do you first. It requires pulling up your big girl pants, walking out the door and sometimes making those tough adult decisions that queens have to make.

Do you consider yourSelf a princess or a queen? My first instinct to this question was queen too. These are two energetic archetypes that have very distinct differences. It takes conscious choices to shift from a princess to a queen and it takes the first choice to do you first. It requires pulling up your big girl pants, walking out the door and sometimes making those tough adult decisions that queens have to make.

I remember the days so clearly where every waking moment of my life revolved around what I wore. It was important to me to be in ‘the perfect’ outfit because I wanted ‘them’ to notice me. Who is the ‘them’ to this day I have no idea. I carried around the limiting belief that my worth was attached to what I wore and I know that I am not the only out there that is slugging that heaviness around. I seriously thought that if I didn’t show up wearing exactly what I thought I should be, I was less than and it would leave me feeling uncomfortable in my clothing.

Do you consider yourSelf a leader? I’ve had this conversation with many women and the majority say no. On the other hand, I have felt I’ve been a leader my whole entire life but just REALLY grasped what it means recently. Growing up I was the oldest of four kids and I loved to be the boss. From the outside looking in, this looks like my first leadership role.

Do you have a lack mentality? No judgsies, I’ve been there. When I first heard the term ‘lack mindset or mentality’ I thought, I don’t have that. I said this before I even knew what it meant. I was so sure I couldn’t have anything with the word ‘lack’ in it that my ego brushed it off and on I went with my day. Years later I signed up for an ‘Activate your Wealthy Mind’ course and learned I had a long way to go and holy did I ever live in the realm of lack.