Personal Responsibility and New Paradigm Femme Leadership
SOLO
Did you know that each day we have the choice to give away our energy or stand in our feminine power? Before I started this work, I had no idea that each one of my choices was either draining the living crap out of me or fuelling me to build the life of my dreams. I used to operate like a mad woman. I would hustle hard for a certain amount of time and then crash for a few days unable to do anything at all. I used to think it was because I had done a lot of really big things and now I was exhausted but I had it all backwards. This was because I had done a lot of little things that stole my feminine power until one day my tank was so low I had to take a break. I would fuel it back up to about a half tank and then it would happen all over again. I was burning out so often because I was giving my energy away day after day and not standing in my feminine power and not even understanding what my full tank felt like.
Most of the time we are giving away our energy or feminine power without even knowing we’re doing it. So what is the first thing to do, acknowledge, WHEN WE’RE DOING IT! Because to make a change we first need to start to notice. Here are some examples of when we are not fully standing in our power as women or moments we allowed our energy to escape . . .
▽ Feeling very drained after chatting with someone in your life... or a stranger
▽ Feeling like you can't get out of a conversation without hurting the other's feelings
▽ Feeling shame or guilt around saying no to an invitation or no in general
▽ Feeling stuck or stagnant in your life
▽ Apologizing out of habit not sincerity
▽ Feeling you HAVE to or SHOULD be doing . . . anything really, rather than WANTING to do the thing
When I first began this list I got exhausted just looking at it. I understood now how my energy was seeping out all over the place and it was time to make a change. I invite you to add any others to that list. For the amount of time and energy we spend on worrying about our list, we could already be on to the next thing that fuels us.
When I break it down to its most simplest form, you are giving away your feminine power any time you are doing something you don’t want to do. Now, I’m not talking about doing the dishes, because there are some things we will have to do that we don’t want to… we can do rituals to shift our energy around those things. I am talking about the things you really don’t want to do and really don’t have to do. A lot of the time we are doing things because we were told somewhere along the way we had to. This quite literally means we could be operating in so many ways that are draining our energy just because someone else told us to . . . silly right. So after acknowledging that we are giving away our own energy we start to notice when. We notice when by asking ourSelves questions or spending time alone. A few things you could begin to integrate into your day to get to know your own energy are . . .
▽ When you’re hungry ask yourSelf what you want to eat rather than planning ahead of time
▽ When you’re bored ask yourSelf what you want to do rather than setting yourSelf up with all the ‘shoulds’
▽ Take yourSelf out on dates with no itinerary and see where that takes you
▽ Asking yourSelf how you feel at the beginning + end of the day
▽ Regular alone time
Acknowledging that you are giving your energy away is step number one. Taking the time to get to know yourSelf is number two. Step number three is to begin making the small every day steps that make a big difference in the long run. Remember, it’s not about the big things, sucking us dry. It’s about learning what small choices we can make along the way to create more sustainability with our energy long term. This won’t take away the waves but it will definitely help smooth them out a bit. Here are things you can put into action right here, right now to begin to take your power back today . . .
▽ Practice speaking YOUR truth. That may look like politely excusing yourSelf from a conversation, it may look like sharing your opinion on something you normally might not. Practice using words and phrases that feel right to you to excuse yourSelf BEFORE you feel exhausted, BEFORE the person in front of you tells you another story about their dog. The more YOU are able to speak up and ask for what YOU need, the stronger your energy becomes.
▽ Begin to practice saying no to things you don't want to do. I promise you there will be more beach days, more dinners and more drinks. Your health is numero uno and if your body + mind are asking you to stay home well then that's a sign to listen sista.
▽ . . . in addition, saying no, let's start practicing this without bringing along our buddies shame + guilt and without the need to justify or give a reason other than you just don't want to.
▽ Give yourSelf permission to CHANGE YOUR MIND without apology. Yep, you heard me. It is okay to change your mind; with partners, jobs, friends, everything. No one is judging you, no is keeping tabs on you, you quite literally do you boo, promise.
▽ Begin to say sorry only when you mean it. We, especially Canadians are known for our 'niceness'. We walk around apologizing for looking at people the wrong way. Are you apologizing out of habit or out of sincerity. Every time you say sorry out of habit, you are sub-consciously telling yourSelf that you are doing something wrong . . . you guessed it, that is stepping OUT of your power. Only say sorry when you mean it, it means more that way anyways
▽ Stop asking for permission for things. You are a full adult and have your big girl pants on now. You have got the power, use it! We get stuck in patterns from childhood that leave us feeling like we have to ask for things even as adults. NO MORE! It is time to quite literally follow what lights you up NO PERMISSION NEEDED OTHER THAN YOUR OWN! And P.S. if that means writing YOUR OWN permission slips, DO IT!!!
We are shifting into a time of change. We get to decide how we feel from the inside out. Even when it feels awkward, weird, a little different, choose you until it your only way of operating. You are worth it.
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